Unshrink Yourself
by Max McKeown and Phillip Whiteley
Available for purchase through
Amazon.
Chapter 1
Have you ever felt small? Have you ever felt dead inside? Have you wanted the world
to swallow you? Have you wanted to disappear'to just fade away? Have you considered
being a hero? Do you want to be better than you are? Have
you ever considered yourself a failure? Do you feel that
you have weaknesses? Do you think that you can do anything
about them?
It all starts as we are born. There is a hole, a role, a space, a
shape, a label ready for us into which we must squeeze, distorting
our natural shape, restricting our innate potential, limiting
and damaging who we are, how we think, what we can become.
What we can be pretty sure of is that we have already developed
certain aspects of ourselves more than others. Specialization
occurs not only when we adopt certain careers but is a common
aspect of our lives. Genetically we find certain behaviours and
tasks easier than others from, and before, birth. Our carers,
peers, siblings and teachers will also play a significant part in
'shaping us' Ð directing us towards what they find interesting or
valuable themselves or what they feel that you will be best at or
what they feel is least threatening to themselves.
The young Pip, in Charles Dickens' Great Expectations, observed:
'Everyone acted as though I had absolutely insisted upon being
born. '
Who should you listen to? How do you choose? The person
with the best qualifications? The one with your interest at
heart? The one with experiences that match your own? Who should be the
most responsible for your welfare? Who should
be the greatest expert on you? How do you get rid of others'
opinions, comments and actions that have shrunk you in some
aspect of your life? Whom should you trust? Should you trust
anyone at all? 1
We start to ask many of these questions during adolescence.
Before then we tend to accept what we are told. This state of
acceptance can be helpful in preparing us for adult life. There is
very useful information about our world that our carers are
meant to pass on to us. This includes the vital, 'don't put your
hand in fire' warning from which we learn that we are not fireproof
and can avoid pain and injury.
Unfortunately, this same state of acceptance (or innocence) can
lead us to believe what just isn't accurate or healthy about our
world and ourselves. We tend to
accept limits that are just not
accute. As children, we will believe
a carer who tells us that we are
smart, dumb, fat, thin, clumsy, agile, useful, useless, greedy, selfless,
or any other label that they wish to bestow upon us. We
develop internal voices, which may be affirming, such as 'I'm
gifted at music' or 'It is good to help others'. But some voices
shrink us: 'I'm stupid; others know more than me' or encourage
us to shrink others 'I can do what I want and it doesn't matter'.
Because we don't know who we are yet, we can start to believe
that we are what we do. We are our jobs. We are our mistakes.
We are our education. We are our qualifications. We are our
prizes Ð or lack of them. We are our ability to tell jokes, sing or
dance. And, since when we are born we have done nothing,
sometimes we are treated as though that is what we are.
There is more to you than you know. More to me than I know.
Isn't that exciting? Neither of us knows what the other will
become. Neither of us knows exactly how smart, dedicated,
loyal, funny, original, kind, strong or wise we are.
Unshrink Yourself/MYTH You Are What You Do/Winning At All Costs/Bob Knight/Troy Aikman/Believers In Our Potential/A Confidence Thing/Potential Is Not Fixed/Shrunk Down/Nit Picking/Charles Bronson/MYTH Work Comes First/Missing The Point/Reframe/Get To Work/Artificial Barrier/Live Your Epitaph/Be Your Own Expert | 
